[	mood	|	blah	]
[	music	|	Thrice - digging my own grave & Radiohead - videotape	]

..I realized I'm kind of bitter about the whole thing.

I'm not too sure how I feel about music anymore.  I learned something that I found pretty interesting one day in my Evolution of Jazz class last semester.  I learned that Miles Davis one day told the music world that he didn't hear( or feel..I can't recall) the music anymore adn he went into obscurity for some years.

I kind of feel like I know what he was talking about.

I don't know anymore.

People are strange...you think one thing and then you get kicked in your ass and suddenly you realize how the world works.  It's pretty disheartening.

I've locked into a little more of a depression since then and I don't know how I'm going to fix myself.

I just want that feeling again.

[	mood	|	blah	]
[	music	|	modest mouse - satin in a coffin	]

is now continued.

here was the scene ::
me: (walks in through door) uh hi guys.
Them: (continue playing video games..)
robert: hi
 I walk to kitchen and start doing some dishes i left unattended and ask why no body called me to tell me anyone was here...i also ask how long these guys were here

they were there for two hrs and no one called because everyone thought everyone else had called...yet that seems silly.
just seemed no one cared whether i was there in my own house or not.
to say the least...i was kind of pissed.

after awhile of this being ignored crap i kicked everyone out because me adn allison had plans to watch a movie alone together that night and these guys just came over completely unannounced, not even bothering to ask.


time passes by and eventually i got a call after work at 12 am and eddy said he wanted to meet for a band discussion or whatever.
i knew what the topic was about and i was fucking tired form my day so i said to do ti anotehr day but he insisted. he said it would take but 5 minutes..of course it took an hr.

and they couldnt even say it outright.  i had to say "so basically you guys are kicking me out of the band" to which the reply was "yes"
these guys, my best friends, treated me like crap for weeks and weeks while i was only ever nice to them and taken advantage of.

it really sucks, feeling so alone and betrayed.

and its been forever since i've played with anybody and its eating me up inside.

my desire grows stronger as i become more tired with my current daily routine.

I WANT TO FIND SOME GOOD MUSICIANS TO START A BAND.  
A GOOD one.

this is gonna be tuff

[	mood	|	restless	]
[	music	|	alien ant farm ...truANT album	]

alright...FIU is kind of a bore... my english class is asking for a three page paper tomorrow arguing this guy's rhetorical strategies in his paper...it is really hard for me to start..and its only the first draft... 
Italian killed me with work too
i start work at the fiu bookstore officially tomorrow
im going to work mon - thurs 4:30- 9 i think
and then saturdays and sundays ima be workign at my starbucks in miracle mile.
i need money...disgustingly.
i've only bought two books for my classes, i have $170(?) in the bank ..106 of which i need to pay the rest of my tuition that wasnt covered by my scholarships... i have less than a 1/4 tank of gas in my car adn i still haev to dive to my dad's tonight...
i'm dying.
lol...

Money sucks....for real though.
luckily i landed the job at this starbucks cuz it gives me 20% off at the bookstore so thats good and then i can get some free food every now and then...i have never been thiss frugal in my life.
it sucks having to pay for everything and im trying to ask my parents for as little as possible...my dad mainly..my mom is being mean about this shit..asking me why i didnt save my money adn shit...fuckin..she owes me $500 i lent her 3 years ago for her computer for work.
and she complains when i ask her for $90.

on top of everything Allison left.  It's hard to go from being with someone literaly everyday...even waking up to them a lot of the time and then having them be gone...there's thta empty passenger seat in the car and no one to play some good music for me and know my mood perfectly without having to ask me.
ugh..
i dont know.

i'm so scared. i feel like i'm on my own. idk anything... i get restless, idontknowidontknowidontknow.

[	mood	|	blah	]
[	music	|	Portugal. The Man - the bottom	]

i started at fiu monday...which was terrible because i start at 10 am and stay there until 9 pm
today was w/e...i like my classes for the most part..i guess. well, i wouldnt really say i like them, theyre jsut w/e.
Money is a major issue of course.
i have $12.15 in the bank and less than $30 on me
i need all my books.
idk how this is going to work.

Allison is leaving Friday to Germany.

I don't know what i'm going to do with myself.
I'm gonna be college boy and shit.
F*ck money.

p.s.
Sorry i havent been tlaking to anyone...i've been sleeping over my dad's house mainly because its only a few blocks from campous and the commute is a lot easier on my pocket than it would be leaving form my  house, plus i'd have to wake up even earlier.
SO with that said, i have no internet at his house (no computer).
Therefore, i cant talk to almost anyone unless they txt me.
miss you guys.

Sorry for the lack of updates, I’ve been waiting to have the actual masters back in our hands before I told you all that WE ARE DONE! Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. We actually finished mixing a couple weeks ago, but have been going back and forth with the mastering. I wanted to wait to say we’re done till we were completely done, but I felt bad for holding out for so long. Anyhow, I was supposed to get the revised mastering back today but it didn’t arrive for some reason. We should have the discs within the next couple days and if we OK it, then it’s all done. Other than that, we’ve started our search for a new label to get this project out to you guys. We’ll keep you all informed as things develop. But yeah, being done is nice. I was nearly going insane by the end of that. Phew!

Teppei "

-alchemyindex.com

_ _ _ complicates everything.

[	mood	|	chill	]
[	music	|	Menomena - Muscle N Flo	]

Graduated.
Bought a Nintendo DS.
Got my liscense.
Have more availability hours for my job =  more $$$

Life is chill.

[	mood	|	discontent	]
[	music	|	Camera Obscura - Country Mile	]

This song has seemed to fit me just about